We've got our PS5 here at The Babylon Bee offices, and we're really happy with the system. It has good graphics. It sounds nice. The controllers have lots of buttons.
In short, it's fine.
So, we hate to rain on everyone's parade, but we have to ask the question here: can anything really be fine under Trump?
Take the resolution, for instance: the PS5 has native 4K support. But when we look at the number "4," all we can think about is how Trump has ruined democracy for the past 4 years. Every crystal-clear pixel is a painful reminder of every life Trump has destroyed.
We want to enjoy the system's silky-smooth 120 frames per second. But that many children per second are put in cages under the Trump administration. So all we can think about when we are enjoying the incredible, lightning-quick frame rate is Trump.
We tried to escape reality by swinging around New York in the new Spider-Man game, but all we see is the empty nursing homes throughout the city: empty because Trump murdered the senior citizens within. Again, somehow, we find ourselves thinking about Trump, which just goes to show how deranged he is.
Even the name "PlayStation" implies that it's OK to play when we live under a fascist regime. "ProtestStation" or "RiotStation" or "ScreamStation" would have been far more appropriate, and it seems a little tone-deaf of Sony to not read the room here.
In the end, we put the PS5 back in the box and screamed at the sky in rage. That was really cathartic. Because of this incredible experience, we award the PS5 our coveted highest score:
FIVE SCREAMS OUT OF FIVE