Promises Kept: Here Are The 9 Biggest Accomplishments Of The Republican Congress

Sponsored · Jan 28, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
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Now over a year into the new congressional term and moving toward the midterms, the Republican-controlled U.S. Congress has been racking up one major victory after another. Don't believe it? Just look at the facts.

The Babylon Bee has the receipts with the following list of things the GOP has accomplished while in power:


  1. Got Little Debbie Zebra Cakes added to the Capitol cafeteria: The far-reaching magnitude of this cannot be overstated.

  2. Thought long and hard about doing something: They're not sure what it was, but they definitely considered it.

  3. Added a cool light show to the Washington Monument: And it reportedly only cost American taxpayers $7 trillion.

  4. Issued a record number of sternly worded letters: Shape up, or they'll send one to you, too.

  5. Convinced Mike Johnson to try parting his hair on the other side: This required months of tough negotiation.

  6. Released six heavily redacted pages of the Epstein files: They're serious about accountability.

  7. Exempted the National Mall landscapers from all ICE operations: They can't afford to lose José and his crew.

  8. Passed legislation to fund the federal government for the next 8 minutes: Isn't that amazing? Oh, wait, time's up, and the government is about to shut down again.

  9. Lost the midterms earlier than any other Republican Congress in history: And that's saying something.


No one can say the GOP hasn't been getting things done. What else have Republicans accomplished while controlling both chambers of Congress for the last year? Add your thoughts in the comments.


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