LONDON — In a stunning twist that experts said could prevent him from facing prosecution for ties to deceased billionaire Jeffrey Epstein, the former Prince Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor joined a UK Muslim rape gang so he could keep abusing young girls.
The disgraced former royal made the announcement on Thursday following his arrest on charges of misconduct, telling authorities that he had converted to Islam and joined one of the famous rape gangs in town, which effectively made him immune from facing any consequences.
"We all know I won't be held accountable now," Mountbatten-Windsor told reporters after being released from custody for being Muslim. "You all thought you finally had me, but I'm always several steps ahead of you. I have converted to Islam and joined one of their delightful rape gangs, which means law enforcement won't touch me, and I can continue abusing young girls as much as I want without any fear of being prosecuted. Cheers!"
British authorities admitted that there was now little they could do. "Our hands are tied now, unfortunately," said Scotland Yard spokesman Reginald Arthur Wigglesworth. "Once he put on that funny outfit and said he was a Muslim, that was the end of any chance we had to hold him accountable for any crimes. As per British law, Mr. Mountbatten-Windsor may now commit whatever horrific acts he chooses. Muslim rape gang immunity, and all that, you know."
At publishing time, former U.S. President Bill Clinton had reportedly asked if he could fill out an application to join the gang.
Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!
