WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump, currently under 17 investigations, boldly condemned the idea of investigations in his State of the Union address Tuesday evening.
The president currently facing an ever-growing list of investigations called for an end to "ridiculous partisan investigations," further stating that for there to be peace and legislative accomplishment, "there cannot be war and investigation."
It's unclear why Trump came out so hard against the concept of investigations into the president's activities, although several analysts suggested it could be in part because of all the investigations Trump and his allies are facing.
"I wonder why he was so hard on investigations," said one Fox News commentator. "With a squeaky clean presidency like Trump's, it just seems odd for him to be so aggressive against the idea of presidents being under the law."
"It just doesn't work that way!" the president with more investigative action against him than any president in recent memory concluded, strongly repudiating the very idea of investigations for some reason.
Babylon Bee subscriber Michael Cunningham contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!