U.S. — According to recent polling data, the Americans described by Jill Biden as "breakfast tacos" are inexplicably switching to the Republican Party in record numbers.
"We aren't sure why the Latinx, who are as special and unique as a breakfast taco — or maybe a toasted cheddar chalupa — are leaving the Democrats," said Dr. Jill Biden while performing routine spinal surgery on one of her patients. "Don't they know how much we Democrats care about their vote? Perhaps we need more abortions and drag queen story hours."
Local breakfast taco Carlos Hernandez isn't convinced. "You know, I'm just not sure the Democrats really care about me," he said as he entered church on Sunday with his family.
Another local breakfast taco, Valentina Gonzalez, agrees. "I'm just not sure Democrat values are my values," she said as she fired her favorite AR-15 at the local gun range. "Am I allowed to say that?"
At publishing time, several breakfast egg rolls were beginning to think the same thing.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
