GALILEE — In the newest incident involving the popular but controversial teacher from Nazareth, Pharisees accused Jesus of threatening to capture his enemies in nets and kill them with his latest "fishers of men" comment.

The carpenter, who has built up an impressive following throughout the region, has become a lightning rod as of late, with religious leaders developing a habit of taking everything he says and attempting to use it to stir up public outrage. This most recent reference to making his followers "fishers of men" led the Pharisees to panic over what they believed to be a thinly veiled threat.

"It's clear he wants to snag men with giant fish hooks and ensnare them with nets so he can cook them over an open fire and eat them with a loaf of bread," one Pharisee said to the authorities in Jerusalem. "Why else would he say he's going to make his disciples 'fish for men'? This is a horrific call to violence!"

Eyewitnesses said Jesus had walked calmly along the shore of the Sea of Galilee before stopping to speak with a group of fishermen. One person who was present overheard him saying he wanted them to be "fishers of men," and was horrified. "I immediately contacted the religious leaders," the witness said. "It couldn't have been more obvious that he was threatening to abduct his enemies in fish nets and kill them. He's an imminent threat to our national security."

At publishing time, the Pharisees had taken the report back to the Sanhedrin to prepare to serve Jesus with multiple indictments.

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