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Pastor Instantly Regrets Encouraging People To Come As They Are

OAK FORD, MI—Pastor Jed Merkels is new to ministry, just having answered the call to the pastorate at Grace Baptist Church six months ago, and now he's made his first rookie mistake.

The minister recently encouraged churchgoers to "come as you are," and he quickly realized this was "a huge error on my part."

Visitors and regular attendees began showing up in droves in pajamas. One guy even waltzed into the service with his Nintendo Switch in tow, attempting a run on Breath of the Wild's Master Mode throughout the service.

"I meant, like, spiritually, you know?" the exasperated pastor lamented to reporters. "Like come to church and let God work on your heart, no matter where you're at. I didn't mean show up with the Cheeto dust from your breakfast still stuck to your shirt and fingers. I mean, I'll still love you and everything."

"But I still think you should take a shower every once in a while," he said, shaking his head.

Merkels stated he first realized how big of a mistake he had made when the youth pastor rolled into service wearing a trucker hat and "pounding" a  two-liter Mountain Dew. "He usually saves that for the youth group," Merkels said. "I suddenly realized I hadn't been very specific with my statement, and I now regret ever having said it."

At publishing time, the church had amended its attendance policy to "Come as you are, but, like, put on a new shirt and maybe run a comb through your hair first."

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