NEW YORK, NY — Former President Donald Trump avoided incriminating himself in a deposition with New York A.G. Letitia James by pleading the fifth amendment right to remain silent. Sources confirm that the plea was entered by Trump's legal team while Trump was tied up in a nearby corner attempting to remove duct tape from his mouth.
"President Trump invokes his right to silence under the fifth amendment of the constitution," said Trump's lead lawyer Mike Lyer while motioning for Trump to be better restrained.
"Mmmmmm! Hm! Mmmmmmm!" cried Trump as A.G. James called him a "failed businessman" and a "second-rate golfer," apparently trying to bait him.
While conservative outlets have lauded President Trump's incredible restraint, liberal commentators have condemned the former President for refusing to incriminate himself. Keith Olbermann summarized their thoughts, saying: "Arrrgh blaaaaaargh, Trump TRUMPTRUMPTRUMP! Democracy SAVE OUR DEMOCRACY indict Trump NOW YAAAAAAH!" Olbermann tweeted his statement which Buzzfeed then quoted, saying "Keith Olbermann is ALL OF US."
At publishing time, one of the trending keyword strings on Twitter was "the walls are closing in," referring to liberals celebrating that this would finally bring down the former President, unlike the last 24 times that the walls closed in on President Trump.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
