SALEM, OR — After the tragic elementary school attack in the city of Bend, Oregon lawmakers have gathered in a renewed effort to ban the sort of gun that was used to take down the school shooter.
Oregon Governor Tina Kotek called for immediate changes to state law to prevent people from ever having the firearms necessary to stop a deranged killer.
"This horrible tragedy could have been so much worse if not for a hero armed with a gun. However, guns are scary, and there are no exceptions for heroes," said Kotek. "We must ban them all immediately and then just hope for the best when the next psychotic murderer attacks."
Lawmakers are reportedly hoping to ban all firearms for any reason, even those used by law enforcement. "We need common sense gun laws now," said Sen. Ron Wyden. "Guns can shoot people, even murderers. We just can't have that in a civilized society. They are so dangerous, much like fire, which we should also ban."
Critics blasted the push by government officials to take guns away from law-abiding citizens, warning that Oregon may soon look exactly like England if lawmakers aren't careful.
At publishing time, Governor Kotek had called for the immediate arrest of the man who stopped the school shooter as the gun he used sounded very frightening.
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