LAUSANNE — The International Olympic Committee (IOC) formally revoked the right of transgender athletes to participate in sporting events of the gender they identify with after watching an old episode of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.
"This is totally new information for us," said IOC President Kirsty Coventry. "I learned recently that boys are boys from the beginning, and girls are girls right from the start. Apparently, everybody's fancy. Everybody's fine. Your body's fancy, and so is mine."
"Who knew?"
As part of their preparations to bring the next Olympic Games to Los Angeles, the committee in Switzerland has been brushing up on American culture, including watching old episodes of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. As a result, Coventry reportedly instructed the LA28 Organizing Committee to keep men's and women's events completely separate, citing the fact that, per Mr. Rogers, only girls can be the mommies and only boys can be the daddies.
"No one had ever explained this to me so clearly before," said LA28 Organizing Committee Chairperson Casey Wasserman. "Maybe we can get this Mr. Rogers to light the torch. He's really smart."
At publishing time, for the first time ever, the International Olympic Committee invited Prince Tuesday from the Neighborhood of Make-Believe to open the Olympic Games.
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