OCALA, FL — Reports that filtered in from communities of really old people revealed a surprising number of old fogies spend their time reminiscing about the "good ol' days" while forgetting the fact that we have Doritos Locos Tacos now.
The unsettling trend was recently confirmed by a research group that traveled to areas heavily populated by geezers to document their musings about the glory days of their youth. The study results yielded clear evidence that every old person completely failed to acknowledge the current existence of Doritos Locos Tacos.
"They refuse to accept how far society has come," said Professor Blake Rumsey of the Learning Center for Acquiring Knowledge. "The development of the Doritos Locos Taco is clear and demonstrative evidence that significant advancements have been made to improve everyone's lives. Not everything was better ‘back in the old days.' THE ENTIRE SHELL OF THE TACO IS A DORITO! Are you kidding me? What more do you want?"
One old fogie reached for comment remained unconvinced. "Back in my day, life was so much better," said Ethel Davis, wistfully. "People were happier. Things weren't so expensive. Everyone was actually kind to each other. It was a different world back then."
Ethel continued reminiscing for nearly 30 minutes about how much better things used to be, stubbornly omitting any mention of Doritos Locos Tacos.
At publishing time, Ethel and her fellow old fogies were still rambling on about the "good ol' days" while ignoring the glaring fact that all of the tacos back then had plain, non-Dorito shells.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
