ITHACA — Upon finally returning home after a desperate 20-year journey, Odysseus was informed by his wife Penelope that she was out of baking powder, and she asked if he could please run out again real quick.
According to sources, the legendary Greek hero had barely set down his bow when Penelope casually mentioned she had forgotten one tiny thing while she was out shopping earlier.
"Since you're already dressed and haven't cleaned up yet, could you go back out real quick?" Penelope asked. "I just totally spaced out on needing baking powder. I have everything else I need, but the recipe just won't work without it. It should only take a second. Thanks, babe."
Odysseus reportedly tried to explain that he needed a minute to sit on the couch, having barely survived two decades of shipwrecks, Lotus-Eaters, six-headed Scylla, the whirlpool Charybdis, and the wrath of Poseidon. "Aw, that sounds like a tough day. I would totally go myself, but I already showered and changed into my comfy clothes," responded Penelope. "It's on aisle four, right near the front. Trust me, babe, these muffins just won't turn out without it. You're the best."
At publishing time, Odysseus had arrived at the market to buy baking powder, only for a servant to arrive with a list from Penelope of 78 other things to pick up while he was there.
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