U.S. — Following the suggestion that Los Angeles or San Diego could be destroyed, the nation pleaded with the Republic of Iran to definitely not bomb L.A., especially not Dodger Stadium at 5 PM on Wednesday, October 14.
According to sources, public outcry was so strong that it compelled President Donald Trump to issue a formal rebuke to the Iranian regime.
"Oh no, please don't nuke L.A., especially not Dodgers Stadium, and definitely not at 5 PM Pacific Time on Wednesday, October 14th, when the Dodgers are going to play the Brewers," Trump said. "Oh, that would just be terrible. I would really hate to see the Dodgers go up in flames, believe me. It would absolutely be the worst thing you could do to our company. Oh, how dreadful. Very, very sad."
Dodgers owner Mark Walter remarked that the president's statement felt sarcastic and he was concerned the nation was attempting to goad Iran into annihilating the Dodgers. "Should I move? I don't want to get nuked," he reportedly asked. "I would be very sad if we got bombed. Surely the president would be sad, too, right? I'm sure he doesn't, like, actually want us to get bombed. He doesn't, does he? Guys?"
Trump reportedly refused to answer Walter's repeated calls on the topic.
At publishing time, President Trump had announced that negotiations for a peaceful resolution with Iran would still be an option even if they destroyed Dodger Stadium.
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