MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MA - According to reports, former President and First Lady Barack and Michelle Obama have purchased a $15 million dollar home sitting atop 29 acres of land on Martha's Vineyard, where they look forward to spreading their wealth around.
"Like I said in 2008, when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody," Obama told reporters. "Michelle and I can't wait to get out and start spreading our massive haul of cash all over this palatial piece of property. These acres will be green all year long," he grinned.
"We were starting to feel cramped in our 9 bedroom house in DC," the man with a $40 million net worth continued. "As I always say, there's only so big a house you can have. But as long as you keep them to a certain size, like, less than 10,000 square feet, it's OK to own a few."
At publishing time, Obama was seen fashioning a stack of hundred-dollar bills into a makeshift barrier to stop the oceans when they rise from climate change.