WASHINGTON, D.C. - Hastily throwing together a press conference shortly after the news broke, former President Barack Obama quickly took credit Friday for Turkey's release of U.S. Pastor Andrew Brunson, who had been imprisoned for two years after being falsely accused of a slew of charges.
"Look, people are saying Trump's strong-arm tactics like economic sanctions are responsible for Brunson's release, but hey - don't forget who should really get credit for this: me, Obama," Obama said to adoring applause from gathered members of the media.
"Look, when was Brunson first arrested? October 2016, that's right. The man gets arrested during my administration and now Republicans want to give Trump credit for his release, just because he applied crippling pressure to Erdogan until the deed was done? Please!" he added.
The former president went on to explain how nobody has a better track record of caring for Christians than he does, and no other president before or since him has commanded such fear and respect on the world stage.
"President Trump, you didn't do that. Obama did that," he said. "You're welcome."