NYC Homeowner Arrested For Not Providing Squatters With WiFi Password
U.S. · Mar 20, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

NEW YORK, NY — Local authorities sprang into action to hold a miscreant accountable today as an NYC homeowner was arrested for not providing squatters with her WiFi password.

The homeowner stubbornly refused to grant internet access to the group of people who had been living in her home illegally while she was on a business trip, prompting a swift reaction from law enforcement to bring her to justice.

"We don't tolerate this type of brazen misconduct in New York City," said a police department spokesman. "When total strangers enter your domicile without your permission and begin squatting against your will, the only proper thing to do is to provide them with your WiFi password. Failure to do so will result in severe consequences. Let this be an example to anyone else who thinks they can treat illegal intruders with such rudeness."

When reached for comment, one of the squatters said he was still shaken to his core by the homeowner's lack of decency. "Who does she think she is?" asked the man who was living in the home illegally without the owner's permission. "We're just here, minding our own business, living in someone else's home without their knowledge, and we're denied access to the WiFi? I thought this was America."

The squatters also lodged formal complaints with the city over the homeowner's refusal to keep the pantry and fridge fully stocked with food and beverages.

At publishing time, the homeowner was facing additional charges for being unwilling to change the sheets on the bed and do a few loads of the squatters' laundry.


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