SACRAMENTO, CA — With pivotal midterm elections taking place across the country, one state added an extra incentive to influence their outcomes, as Governor Gavin Newsom offered electricity to California residents who vote for Democrats.
With electrical power now at a premium throughout the Golden State, Newsom held a press conference to announce that any California resident who votes to elect Democratic candidates would be graciously granted electricity.
"Just sweetening the pot a little bit," Newsom told reporters. "I want all Californians to know that if they vote Democrat in today's elections, not only will they receive the same quality of leadership they have come to expect here in this great state, but they will also be given the wonderful gift of electricity. Vote blue, and you'll get power. That's my promise to you, California."
Voters expressed eagerness to get power back to their homes, even if it meant having to vote for Democrats. "We're not exactly overjoyed at the idea of voting for more Democrats, but having electricity again sure would be nice," said California resident Luis Garcia. "Nobody's tripping over each other to vote blue. More likely, they're just tripping over each other because the lights aren't on and they can't see anything at night. You know, because there's no power. So, what do we do? Vote for evil, or live in the Dark Ages? It's not an easy choice."
At publishing time, Newsom confirmed that any Californian caught voting for Republican candidates would be permanently barred from receiving electricity.
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