ALBANY, NY—New York atheists have come out in force against the COVID-19 vaccine after learning that their state’s Governor Kathy Hochul claimed that God made the scientists, doctors, and researchers invent the vaccine. The state’s atheists were further incensed when Hochul displayed a religious emblem hanging from her neck that symbolized her acceptance of the holy vaccine.
Crowds of atheists pressed into the State Health Department’s headquarters to submit forms seeking religious exemptions from the vaccine requirement.
"We're sick of these religious nutjobs in government forcing their religious convictions on the rest of us!" said Brett Winstone, president of the local Free Thinkers Society chapter. "This is not a theocracy! You will not force your god vaccine into our atheist veins!"
“A religious exemption for atheists like me makes perfect sense,” said fervent atheist Craig Nostic. “I mean, we’re always thinking about religion and talking about religion. My Christian friends are actually kind of sick of how I won’t stop talking about religion."
When word spread that their religious exemptions would be accepted, the crowd of atheists fell to their knees in humility and offered praise and gratitude to the cold, unforgiving, empty, endless void.
Gregory Ilinovich loves murdering people with illegal guns - so he's a bit concerned about all these new gun regulations. Luckily, he tends not to follow laws anyway.