U.S.—A comprehensive study by LifeWay released Tuesday confirms that arguing vigorously about politics is still the most effective way for Christians to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ to a lost and dying world.
The results indicated that an overwhelming majority of new converts to Christianity were convinced to give their lives to Christ after suffering defeat in debates over policy positions or specific politicians.
“Our study strongly suggests that owning political foes translates to winning souls for Christ,” a LifeWay spokesman said. “Whether online or in person, Christians should seek to find someone from the other side of the aisle and just flatten them, exactly like the early disciples did.”
“As Jesus said, ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.’ If we’re going to see revival in our nation, we need to see more Christians diving into no-holds-barred political fights like they’re Khabib Nurmagomedov jumping out of the octagon to attack Dillon Danis after ending Conor McGregor with a vicious neck-crank,” he added.
At publishing time, Christians nationwide had heeded the advice and were setting out to squabble over politics in Jesus’ name.