U.S. — A new setting on Google Maps was expected to save thousands of marriages by forgoing the optimum travel route to instead direct the husband along the route his wife thinks he should take.
This cutting-edge new option will throw out all other considerations, such as construction, distance, time en route, fuel efficiency, and every last shred of common sense, to instead make sure a man follows his wife's preferred route.
"Turn here. No, turn here now. This road is safer. And the trees have pretty fall leaves this way," said Google's GPS voice to one grateful husband on a recent family outing. "Now go this way. Your wife thinks this is better, and she's always right, no matter what, because you love her. Rob, slow down. The car in front of you is only 75 feet away. EEEEEKK! Slow down! Recalculating."
The new feature uses the most advanced AI technology to take you along your wife's most convoluted and impractical route to any destination, while ensuring that you also stop by her favorite coffee shop on the way.
"My marriage was on the rocks before this feature. Thanks, Google!" said one husband.
At publishing time, Google had added another feature that would immediately notify you when a light turns green by saying, "Go, honey, it's green."
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