In a joint statement this week, America's husbands announced they're just going to put all the dishes in the sink, maybe pour a little dish soap on them, and let them soak for a bit.
"We'll come back to finish the job…in a while," American husband Nick Olsen told reporters. "We always usually do, in a few hours or so. For now, though, these puppies just need to sit and soak for a bit in the sink."
A coalition representing the majority of married men in the country released a joint statement this week making sure their wives knew they placed the dirty dishes in the sink with every intention of coming back and scrubbing them after they let them soak for two, maybe three hours…or days.
"We represent men everywhere who are great at running a little hot water over a casserole-encrusted pan and walking off, sure we'll come back at some point to scrub and dry the offending dishes," the statement read. "We know you're skeptical but just trust us this time."
As of publishing time, America's wives expressed deep skepticism that the men would, indeed return to finish the dishes and announced they'd just finished up the job themselves, a move they promise to quietly log away to bring up the next time the couple argues over who does the most housework.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
