U.S.—Four-year-olds across the nation vocalized their condemnation of entitled, whiny protesters that are “acting like little babies.”
“My mommy says that when the grownups talk, it’s time for us kids to listen,” said one little girl named Jessica. “All I see are a bunch of babies that are crying. Maybe they need to be calmer and use their big girl words. It’s like Daniel Tiger says, ’When you feel so mad that you want to roar, take a deep breath and count to four!’”
“Where are the grownups?” said a boy named Billy who was horrified by what he saw coming out of Portland and Seattle. “The grownups make rules and you got to follow them or else you might hurt yourself. An autonomous zone? Do they at least have a Chase the police dog to rescue them when there is a 211 in progress?”
“They’re not very big helpers,” said another little boy named Patrick. “My mommy says to keep the toys out of the kitchen and not to go in there when the stove is on because the fire will burn you and the firefighters will have to come and save you. You can be a really big helper sometimes when you do what the grownups say and pick up your own stuff. Those whiny protestors need to pick up their toys and try to be big helpers too.”
“Can you help me turn on my Blippi?” he added.
At publishing time, the nation’s four-year-olds, when asked what ought to be done with the protesters, exclaimed, “they need to be put in their room to think about what they’ve done!”