U.S. — According to overnight reports, a dumbfounded nation at last realized that Chelsea Handler has actually been trying to be funny this whole time.
Despite all appearances to the contrary, Handler had reportedly been attempting to be funny since the early 2000s, incorporating short pauses after statements that apparently were intended for audience laughter.
"Seriously? Huh. Would never have guessed," said local man Roger Schroeder. "I thought she was doing like a TED talk on bitterness, or maybe a hostage video. Really fooled me."
Americans were blindsided by the revelation, with many steadfastly refusing to accept it. "There's no way," said local woman Mandy Denison. "She sounds like a clinically depressed person, drunk at an airport bar, trying to recall what she watched on CNN. I just can't see how that's supposed to be humorous."
Disagreement continued on social media, with millions of users refusing to believe that Handler's intended goal was to elicit laughter and happiness or provide even a modicum of entertainment.
At publishing time, the nation had also learned the startling truth that Amy Schumer was also trying to be funny.
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