U.S. — Zuckerberg challenged Elon Musk to a very real fight this week in response to an obvious joke tweet in which Musk said he was ". . . up for a cage match if he is lol [sic]". Following some negotiation, the social media titans opted to settle their differences in a friendly game of Nintendo 64 classic GoldenEye on the Complex map with the "slappers only" setting turned on.
"No one jokes about fighting with me and gets away with it," said Zuckerberg, a very real human. "I am going to slap him so hard. I am going to slap him to death!"
The duel is expected to commence in eight weeks, giving both fighters time to train. Zuckerberg will reportedly move back in with his parents to replicate the environment in which he first played GoldenEye. Meanwhile, Musk has hired former James Bond actor Pierce Brosnan to help him train.
Additional match restrictions include a ten-minute time limit and no Oddjob.
Bookmakers have picked Musk as the underdog, citing his preference for PC gaming. "On the other hand, Zuckerberg really wanted to fight on the Facility map," said sports journalist Ricky Lexington. "I'm not sure how he's going to handle Complex."
At publishing time, former Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos asked if he could play as well, but was dismissed outright.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
