U.S. — In a dramatic move that could shake up the media industry, Elon Musk has announced his intent to purchase MSNBC and turn the channel into a news network.
Though initially dismissed as an outrageous prank, Musk has remained adamant that he is serious about hiring actual journalists and completely revamping the entire network in order to report real news.
"Admittedly I've been wrong about Musk before, but this is insane," said investor John Stanton. "This would be like buying Taco Bell and turning them all into high-end steakhouses. Doing actual journalism or reading actual news would be a complete paradigm shift."
Despite the naysayers, Musk has received support from several major players in the media industry. "He's already got Joe Rogan and Michael Knowles fighting over who gets to take Rachel Maddow's place," said former MSNBC executive Daniel Montgomery. "Obviously, Knowles has the look. No one is denying that, not even Knowles. What if they really fought over it, though? Rogan would put him out so fast... well, I take that back. Knowles seems kind of squirrely. Man, this is exciting."
At publishing time, Musk had graciously announced that Joe Scarborough could stay on staff as the barista for the company coffee bar.
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