U.S.—A new report has found that over 97% of millennials have been completely unaffected by government orders to stay home and not go to work.
Many millennials weren't even aware of the orders since they were already living in their parents' basements and not working any kind of job.
"Oh, there's a lockdown? Hadn't heard," said Milly Stanson of Piker's Square, Oregon. "I was just doing my thing like usual, chillin' in pop's basement. I've been 'between jobs' for a while now. Hadn't realized we weren't supposed to go to work. Cool!"
Millennials have even started a petition for the lockdown to continue as long as possible and were particularly excited to learn that everyone was getting free money from the government. "It's kind of like little green participation trophies."
Boomers were affected but only a little bit, since they tend to go into the office at 9 and leave at 11 most days to go golfing anyway.
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