KNOXVILLE, TN — Local men Dave Harding and Tyler Daniels, while hard at work helping their friends move furniture out of their apartment, have just announced unprompted that the couch isn't heavy at all, it's just an awkward shape.
"Yeah, it's definitely not the weight. It's barely even heavy really, it's just the weird shape," said a panting Tyler Daniels despite no one asking. "We could carry way more if it wasn't for the weird shape of this couch!"
"Oh for sure!" replied Dave straining immensely under the weight of the couch as they went around the corner. "It would be no struggle if we could just grab it better. The shape is definitely the only factor at play here."
According to sources, the two men were finally able to get the couch out to the moving truck, but not before taking several breaks to catch their breath and stopping to tell everyone they passed about how cumbersome and unwieldy the shape of this couch was, but still in no way too heavy for them.
"Honestly, it looks like a large, heavy object. I don't see why the guys don't seem to want to admit that," said Samantha Jenkins, another friend assisting with the move. "Maybe they just need a third person to help, instead of trying to fool everyone that it's lightweight."
At publishing time, both men were spotted holding ice packs on their sore backs, but not because the totally not heavy couch had sprained their backs or anything.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.