CORUSCANT — Despite rampant allegations regarding the appearance of a dark-robed figure engaging in nefarious activities on various star systems, the media maintained that there was no evidence that indicated the demon-horned man with Sith tattoos all over his face and body and wielding a red-bladed lightsaber was a member of the Sith.
Journalists sought to debunk reports that the shadowy figure had terrorized multiple people by Force-choking them and zapping them with purple lightning, saying this alleged "evidence" was circumstantial at best and likely just hearsay.
"Just because he has a red lightsaber and Sith tattoos doesn't make him a Sith," said ABC News reporter Terry Moran. "For anyone to label this man a ‘Sith' without anything to back it up is scurrilous and irresponsible. It's our job as the media to look into these accusations to find out if they have merit. Unfortunately, this man appears to be getting persecuted for purely political purposes."
When reached for comment, the black-cloaked figure gave only a brief statement. "The Jedi will soon fall," he said. "Once our plan is revealed, it will be far too late to stop us. My master has foreseen that we will be victorious after taking our revenge. Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy."
At publishing time, Terry Moran had issued a follow-up statement pointing out that the quotes from the mysterious figure seemingly identifying himself as a Sith Lord bent on overthrowing the Republic and ruling the galaxy gave no indication that he had any connection with the Sith.
This freshman had a bright future ahead of her, but then her parents spent $250K to send her to a public university.
