The meaning of Christmas has been officially revealed, and it's all about those metal tins with three types of popcorn. Yep. Would you have guessed it?
Many thought it was about the birth of our Savior, or spending time with family, or coming together as a community. But, nope. It's about cheesy popcorn, caramel popcorn, and sometimes white cheddar popcorn, all shoved in a metal tin divided by a cardboard tri-fold.
"We've done a lot of research, and we've definitely confirmed that this is what it's all about," Christmas scientist Jacob Jenson said. "We were as surprised as anyone to figure this out. We were sure it was something grander, wider, more spiritual, and based on Biblical truths. Uh. uh. It's all about popcorn. And not just any popcorn, a very specific type of popcorn that's only sold at a very specific time of year."
The public reacted with a mixture of surprise and anger.
"Um, no," Christmas celebrant Richard Smith said. "I don't think that's it."
At publishing time, researchers also revealed that the meaning of Easter is those amazing little Cadbury mini eggs.
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