Man With Beautiful Wife, Two Kids Still Ranks Entering Initials Into Cruisin' USA Leaderboard Among Top Three Life Achievements
Family · Feb 21, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

VENTURA, CA — Asked about his greatest accomplishments, local father of two Brad Preston did not hesitate to go with entering his initials into the Cruisin' USA leaderboard at the arcade when he was 15 years old.

"I can feel the glory now," Preston commented. "It was 1998. Cruisin' was a big deal, be it on a bender at the mall or just at Pizza Hut waiting for our food. I picked the Madagascar map and just absolutely crushed it. Every turn, every straightaway, I was just so locked in! I have never felt a high like entering BJP into that leaderboard. Never!"

Preston then quickly stated that the feeling of his wedding day and the birth of his kids were definitely up there as well. "Oh yeah, all kind of in the top three. It's real close."

"I've heard Brad tell the story about entering in his name in that arcade game down to the last detail 500 times now," said Preston's wife Rachel. "He can still recite every turn on that Madagascar map, no problem. What grade is our son in, he has no clue - but that one evening in 1998... it lives forever."

As of publishing time, Preston was seen sitting at his desk at home staring wistfully out the window murmuring something about "first place at the checkpoint" and then assuring his wife he was only thinking about their wedding day and how special it was to him.


World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.

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