FLORENCE, KY—Local church member Vernon Niles sits in the same seat, which he calls “his” seat, every single Lord’s Day—and according to him, the multitude of unchurched visitors who will show up to First Baptist Church for Easter service this Sunday will not change his routine one bit, as he has confirmed to reporters that he will ‘forcibly remove’ any person occupying his seat when he shows up to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.
“I’ve been sitting in my seat for over a decade,” Niles told reporters Thursday. “It’s my spot. It has my butt-print. My pew pencil is right there. My pew Bible. You don’t just come to church once or twice a year and move in on someone’s sacred territory like that. And if anyone tries, I will literally drag them screaming, up the aisle and out of the sanctuary.”
“I don’t care how loud they yell, I’m dragging ’em right out of there. They will be re-accommodated,” he confirmed, adding his invitation for anyone to go ahead and try him.
At publishing time, First Baptist Church announced that they were overbooked for this Sunday, prompting Niles to inform several of his friends on the usher team to prepare for the worst.