JEFFERSON CITY, MO—Local Trump supporter Trevor Jacobs absolutely brutalized President Obama for the full length of both the former president’s terms in office, but is now calling for all Americans to unite and show respect for their current president, sources close to the man claimed Monday.
The self-described “political junkie,” who is angered every time he sees someone criticize President Trump, reportedly slammed President Obama in a series of savage memes and rants several times a day for eight years.
“Really, it should be a crime to blatantly disrespect the presidential office,” the man who still has a faded, yellowing sticker of Calvin urinating on President Obama on his pickup truck said. “I’m all for free speech, but enough is enough.”
Jacobs further called people who criticize the president “un-American” and “unpatriotic” for not completely agreeing with President Trump’s policies.
“He’s your President, for goodness’ sake. Grow up and stop acting like children,” he said, while blowing his nose with a nearby roll of novelty toilet paper depicting President Obama’s face on each square, according to sources.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.