HADES — A man was sent straight to Hell after his new phone autocorrected his text message from "Praise God" to "Praise Fod."
Jared Cain, 39, now in Hell, regretted the fateful text message exchange in which he forfeited his life on earth and his eternal soul by violating the first commandment to have no other gods. The tragic autocorrection came about after Mr. Cain switched from his reliable iPhone 13 to a newer model Samsung Galaxy phone with which he was not yet familiar.
"I was just so excited when my sister texted me that I was going to be an uncle," said Mr. Cain. "I immediately responded with 'Praise God,' but my default Samsung keyboard on my new droid phone autocorrected it to 'Praise Fod' for some reason. ‘Fod' isn't even a word!"
Mr. Cain was struck dead right where he was standing after incurring the wrath of the Almighty for the crime of worshiping another god and also for not knowing he was supposed to go to the Google Play Store and download Gboard as his default keyboard.
"I even tried to correct the autocorrect," lamented Mr. Cain. "I typed ‘God' several times afterwards, but each time, the phone thought it knew better than me, so it just read out like I was crazy for Fod. It said, ‘Praise Fod,' 'Fod*,' 'Fod!,' 'Fod, Fod, Fod.'"
At publishing time, Mr. Cain was appealing his case on the grounds that the default Samsung keyboard was clearly an invention of Satan to trick God-fearing people into praising Fod.
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