NEW YORK, NY — As part of his ongoing plan to implement his sweeping socialist policies throughout New York City, Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly looking into whether he can tax residents of other cities as well.
After imposing heavy taxes on New Yorkers to fund his agenda for the city, Mamdani met with his staff to determine the legality of raising taxes on residents of surrounding cities to make up for the hundreds of billions of dollars his plans were sure to cost.
"There's got to be a way for us to get more people's money," Mamdani told his aides. "We're making good progress on squeezing people dry here in this city, but that's not going to be nearly enough to pay for all of our proposed initiatives. So, let's look into what we can do about imposing crushing taxes on everyone else who doesn't live in New York City. Yeah?"
Sources within the mayor's office praised the ambitious plan. "This is socialism at its finest," one insider said. "You make insane promises for free stuff while campaigning, tax people into poverty to pay for a small fraction of those promises, and then look for ways to spread the economic destruction outside your own area. It's beautiful. Soon, it won't just be New Yorkers who can't afford to eat or pay their rent. We'll lay the groundwork to make it happen across America."
At publishing time, Mamdani had assured New Yorkers that everything in their lives would soon be free as soon as he figured out a way for it to be paid for by someone else.
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