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Every woman wants a hunky, conservative dude to marry. The hard part is knowing how to attract them.
The Babylon Bee is here to help with the following list of beauty tips that will land the based MAGA man of your dreams.
Walk into your hair salon and say, "Give me the Trump!": In seven short hours, you'll have the perfect hairstyle for getting a man's attention.
Speak fluent Elvish: It sounds beautiful, and he won't know when you're mad at him, which will be great for your relationship.
Be sure to match your AR-15 with your purse and shoes: He'll notice if you don't.
Don traditional feminine clothing like a grandmother's housecoat: Hubba hubba!
Pose as an illegal alien walking around Minneapolis: He'll be overcome with the urge to put his hands on you.
Dab a little WD-40 behind your ears: It's an irresistible fragrance.
For his birthday, surprise him by retaking Constantinople for Christendom: It's what he's always wanted.
Be an actual woman: This can't be overstated.
Follow these tips, and you're guaranteed to attract a hunky conservative dude. Have your own suggestions? Post them in the comments.
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