WORLD — Liberals across the world have defeated Naziism by painting swastikas on everything and setting fire to immigrant-owned storefronts.
With hope seemingly lost after Nazis seized America and threatened to take over the globe, progressives courageously fought back by committing widespread arson against immigrant businesses and spray-painting Nazi symbols on cars and buildings.
"We did it! We beat the Nazis," shouted activist Jean LePenne, lighting another car dealership on fire. "It took us painting thousands of swastikas on things, including on our own bodies, but we did it. I literally had to get several swastikas tattooed on my face, but it was all worth it to defeat Hitler's second coming."
With the inexorable rise of the Fourth Reich seeming destined to take over the world, liberals began to turn the tide against Nazis by goose stepping through the streets, covering themselves in swastikas, and shouting "Heil Hitler." The Nazis were left severely weakened as progressives paraded large floats through the streets which displayed messages such as "Death To The President" and "Time For Violence." Leftists then began unleashing violent assaults against immigrant-owned businesses, defeating Naziism once and for all.
At publishing time, liberals had celebrated their victory over the Nazis by burning all the opposition leaders in effigy along with all of their books.
Rumors swirl about the current condition of Senator Mitch McConnell, but his staff have come out to say that even if he were dead he will still be able to finish his term.
