U.S.—A new study from very credible scientists has revealed that science wants everyone to continue to wear masks for the foreseeable future. This is due to brand new evidence from real science that masks actually prevent global warming.
"The best thing we can do to slow the spread of climate change and sea-level rise is to wear a mask," said Dr. Antonio Grouci, the newly appointed head of the EPA. "You breathe out deadly CO2 all day and that makes the planet sad. If there's a chance masks could catch even one CO2 particle and prevent it from entering the atmosphere, we must take that precaution."
CNN then breathlessly reported that masks must now be worn by all people who don't want to die in a cataclysmic flood or a killer volcano due to climate change.
Several states are also issuing lockdown orders to prevent people from going outside and polluting the atmosphere with their existence.
Several liberals who were interviewed said they were just happy to have a scientific reason to wear a mask again.