CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—A KKK member posing outside Glenn Youngkin's bus, ostensibly to support the gubernatorial candidate, has turned out to actually just be Governor Ralph Northam in his trusty Klan hood.
"We're all in for Glenn! We're all in for Glenn!" the man in the white hood chanted as Youngkin's bus pulled into a campaign stop in Charlottesville. "We racists love Glenn. Vote for Glenn! We are not associated with the Democratic Party whatsoever, despite the white robe and hood! Go, Republicans!"
One group of curious youths, who had arrived there in a van, was determined to get to the bottom of who exactly this KKK member was. "Something seems a little sus here," the group's leader said while hiding behind the bus. He leaped out and pulled the hood off the KKK member. "Why, it's Ralph Northam! Zoinks!"
"Well, this is awkward, heh," Northam said. He tried to use his pocket sand to escape, but got tripped up on his robes. "You didn't see anything here!" he shouted as he stumbled away. "I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
"Looks like Ralph Northam's blasting off agaaaaaaaaain!!!" (His aides then informed him this was the wrong franchise).
At publishing time, Northam had been spotted posing at another Youngkin event in blackface.
Gregory Ilinovich loves murdering people with illegal guns - so he's a bit concerned about all these new gun regulations. Luckily, he tends not to follow laws anyway.