JERUSALEM — King Solomon held court with his 700 wives and 300 concubines to ask whether or not there is anything to the charges he is a patriarchal misogynist.
"Because honestly, I don't see it," the king said.
According to sources, word hath reached beyond the kingdom's borders that the king (may he live forever) is a patriarchal misogynist, in part because, instead of one wife, he has 700, and instead of one side piece, he has 300. Furthermore, he holds to a teaching of men having authority over women and refuses to let any of his wives or concubines hold jobs at the local office building.
"Aren't I a kind husband and master? I love all of you," King Solomon said. "Especially you, Tiffany. You're my favorite."
The king's scribes noted Tiffany's reply as "Tee hee!"
However, several of Solomon's other wives grumbled that he was indeed a patriarchal misogynist. "Going on a date once every thousand days is not enough!" they cried. But so many were talking at the same time that King Solomon couldn't understand anything they were saying.
At publishing time, King Solomon had listened for two minutes before deciding he was all good and chalking the whole matter up to "women's issues."
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