Kids Demand In-Person Learning So They Won't Have To Keep Explaining Math To Their Parents
U.S.

U.S.—Kids across the U.S. have formed a coalition to demand in-person learning in school classrooms again. The main reason given for their demand is that they are sick and tired of explaining math to their parents every day. 

"How many times do we have to tell you," said one frustrated 10th grader, "math is more complicated now than it used to be. It used to be that you would get a question like '2+2' and would simply answer '4.' We don't do it that way anymore."

"Nowadays, we draw it out in a complicated chart, discuss all the possible answers and their sociological implications, do 12 jumping jacks facing the birthplace of George Floyd, call the white kid next to us a 'racist,' and then give a more creative and socially conscious answer, such as 'two-spirit unicorn baby.'" 

According to sources, parents have reached a breaking point and are checking themselves into therapy in record numbers. 

Teacher's unions responded in a statement saying: "Who do these stupid little kids think they are?" and then refused to commence in-person classes for another year. 

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