Politics
Kavanaugh Empties Keg Of Beer On ACB's Head In Celebration

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Moments after Amy Coney Barrett was sworn in as a Supreme Court justice this evening, Justice Brett Kavanaugh leaped out of the crowd and emptied a full keg of beer on top of her head in celebration.

"Yeah, ACB! Wooooo!!!" he cheered as he emptied 15 gallons of beer over Justice Barrett's head. "Welcome to the bench, sister! Oh yeah! Up top!" He went for a high five but was already on his seventh beer of the evening and fell over instead. "I'm alright!" he shouted, jumping back up to his feet.

He then began to sing: "Oh, let us strive that ever we, maaaaaay let these words our watch-cry beeeeee, where’er upon life’s sea we saaaaaaail: For God, for Country and for Yaaaaaaaale!"

He attempted to put Barrett on his shoulders, wanting to parade her around the room, but clerks held him back. "Probably not a great look, Brett."

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