WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an unexpected turn of events, Vice President Kamala Harris was removed from the top spot of "Worst Diversity Hire of All Time" after Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis opened her mouth during a televised trial about inappropriate use of funds and an alleged affair with a top prosecutor of former President Donald Trump.
"DA Willis' perfectly executed court disaster may not have been enough to get her to top the proven record of VP Harris," said one onlooker, "But wearing her dress backwards, what a coup de grace!"
Those close to Kamala Harris say her team is scrambling to prepare her to assume the role of President now that she is no longer the most embarrassing example of racial diversity efforts to ever live.
In a public statement released shortly after the incredible, live circus act of Fani Willis, VP Kamala Harris stated, "I am now, as have ever been, ready for the responsibilitous station imparted on me to be ready, now and forever, for the role of President of the United States, which is what presidents are called."
At publishing time, Kamala Harris had regained First Place as "Worst Diversity Hire of All Time" after opening her mouth while on television.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
