LOS ANGELES, CA — Though insiders said leaving office was a difficult experience for Kamala Harris, the former vice president was said to be excited to begin her new career as an obscure trivia answer.
Harris departed Washington, D.C. on Monday following the inauguration of President Donald Trump and made her way back home to California, where she was expected to begin preparing for life as a historical footnote mentioned in passing on TV quiz shows.
"It's a new day, and new days are for new things, and new things are meant to be done on a new day," Harris told the media after landing in California. "I was honored to serve as the vice president, which is almost the president, but just below the president, and that's what I was. With my work completed, I will now embark on a new journey as the answer to trivia questions about obscure vice presidents. Because trivia answers provide knowledge. Knowledge is what we all want. And when we get what we want, we will know knowledge, which before that time had been unknowable."
When asked if she was eager to potentially hear her name spoken on a trivia show, Harris couldn't contain her excitement. "Oh, you didn't know? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she said. "Your girl Kamala's about to be hitting the big time. A strong, confident woman who brought joy to America. ‘Who is Kamala Harris?' Right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
At publishing time, sources close to the production of the TV game show Jeopardy reported they were having difficulty coming up with any notable facts about Harris that would warrant her being used as an answer.
Trump is cleaning house, and with Kash Patel as the presumptive head of the FBI, that department is no exception.
