ATLANTA, GA — Continuing her push to bolster support among minority voters, Vice President Kamala Harris appealed to black voters by offering each of them a free pack of menthols and a copy of Madea's Family Reunion on DVD.
With her support from black males slipping despite her recent announcement to offer free cash and legal weed, Harris held an emergency meeting with her campaign staff to determine what special incentives could bring her popularity back up.
"We struck out with offering to legalize drugs, and everyone called us racist -- but we were not deterred," said Harris-Walz campaign staffer Elaine Johnson said. "If offering cash and weed was a no-go, how about a pack of menthols and a Madea DVD? Tyler Perry is still popular with the, uh, black people, right?"
When asked about the move, Vice President Harris had only one brief comment: "Madea! HAHAHA! Am I right? HAHAHA!"
At publishing time, black voters had reportedly reminded her that the DVD came out in 2006 and it was her administration that worked to ban menthol cigarettes.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
