Joseph Hoping At Some Point To Have Dream That Doesn't Make Everyone Want To Kill Him

Scripture · Jun 18, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
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CANAAN — The young son of a prominent family remained optimistic that he would someday have a dream that doesn't make everyone in his life want to kill him.

Local resident Joseph admitted that, despite his track record, he was holding out hope that his next vividly prophetic night vision wouldn't result in his death being plotted by his many brothers.

The youth said he was "a little tired" of having dreams in which he rules over his entire family, as the recounting of said dreams really tends to set his siblings off.

"Look, I don't pick the dreams," Joseph said. "But just once, it would be nice to wake up and tell everyone about a dream where we're all just eating figs. Instead, it's always, 'Hey guys, the sun, the moon, and eleven stars were bowing down to me and paying homage.' It makes breakfast incredibly awkward. Plus, there are the death threats. It's not fun."

His older brothers also expressed exhaustion with the boy's nightly "I'm better than you" visions.

"If he has one more dream where my bundle of wheat bows down to his bundle of wheat, I know a very deep, very empty pit with his name on it," said Judah. "Keep it up, dreamer boy. We're holding a contest to see who can come up with the best way to kill you. And we like all of them."

At publishing time, Joseph had reportedly considered fleeing Canaan after having a dream in which all his brothers washed and folded his laundry.


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