MANHATTAN, NY — With The Super Mario Bros. Movie making over $377 million globally in its first weekend alone and a projected strong second weekend from positive word-of-mouth, the franchise kickoff is already shaping up into a juggernaut. The launch has hit a wrinkle in the form of John Leguizamo boycotting the movie over lack of Latino representation, however, with the troubling result that a sudden spike in Google searches of "who is John Leguizamo?"
"After accounting for typos of this actor's difficult-to-spell last name and averaging the results over a 7-day period, we can confirm that there has already been a 700% increase in Google searches for some variation of 'who is John Leziguanzago'" said film critic Bill Gordon. "Also, who is he again? I can't place him."
For his part, the actor has seemed troubled, touting his impressive IMDB page via a series of tweets. "Um, hello? Doesn't anyone remember when I played Benny Blanco in 1996's Carlito's Way?!? What about 1996's Executive Decision? That was huge! #representation!" When comments called into question the actor's relevance for more recent films, he pointed to the smash hit John Wick, in which he played the important role of the title character's mechanic.
At publishing time, The Super Mario Bros. Movie had made another $500 million thanks to Leguizamo's boycott.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
