U.S. — Local gangster Jabba the Hutt has threatened legal action against United Airlines, accusing the company of discrimination after he was charged for multiple seats on a flight. Hutt alleges he is being treated differently because of his weight.
"NEESA CHANGA WAMPA," thundered the massive crime lord, which was subsequently translated by his Chief of Staff, Bib Fortuna, as "This is unfair treatment!" Fortuna continued to translate as Jabba explained his complaint. "I should not face additional charges simply because I am a giant space slug. The Hutts are a proud race and we will not be discriminated against!"
United Airlines had notified Jabba he would be required to purchase an entire row on the aircraft to accommodate both his immense size and the revenue the airline would lose due to being unable to sell the adjacent seats. "We have a tight profit-loss ratio we must maintain," said a representative of United. "Mr. Hutt simply cannot take up an entire row on our aircraft and expect to only have to pay for one seat. If we make an exception for Mr. Hutt, we'll have to make similar accommodations for all enormous creatures. We'd be ruined and forced to return to scavenging and selling salvaged junk to make money!"
Jabba was not willing to accept the explanation from the airline. "OONA SAMPA CHOOGA NEEGAWA, SLEEMO," he bellowed, "CHATA WNOW KONG BANTHA POODOO!" which Fortuna translated as "I'll see you in court, slimeball! Now, you're bantha poodoo!"
At publishing time, Jabba had informed the airline that if they did not waive the additional charges, he would throw the entire staff into the Sarlacc pit.
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