TEHRAN — After three weeks of fighting in Iran, current U.S. tax dollars are steadily defeating U.S. tax dollars from three years ago.
The current tax dollars appear to be more coordinated and technologically advanced than previous tax dollars, according to a new report. Experts believe the tax dollars Americans are giving to the United States government will continue to rapidly degrade the capabilities of the tax dollars given a few years prior.
"We estimate that we have neutralized eighty percent of our previous tax dollars," said Admiral Brad Cooper, Commander of CENTCOM. "We have deployed overwhelming tax dollars that our old tax dollars simply cannot match. We have secured strategic tax dollar superiority and that will only escalate as time passes."
According to Pentagon sources, the new military equipment being purchased with taxpayer money is of vastly better quality than the old stuff Iran got with taxpayer money. "It's amazing to see how far we've come in just a few years," said Cooper. "Man, look at these cool new missiles blowing up our old missiles. It's a beautiful sight."
At publishing time, the Pentagon had announced that while in the Middle East it would also launch operations in Afghanistan to blow up some more old tax dollars.
Do you think you can guess which one is the terrorist?
