SPRINGFIELD, IL — An employment interview today met a decidedly awkward pause after the interviewer asked what relevance "able to beat all my friends at Goldeneye back in 1997" had to do with the job the man was applying for.
The applicant had confidently handed over his resume, believing the interviewer would be blown away by his achievement in destroying any and all challengers who dared to face him in the Goldeneye Nintendo 64 game more than a quarter of a century ago.
"Sir, may I remind you that you're interviewing for the position of Director of Product Development," said the confused interviewer. "I'm just not clear how beating your friends at Goldeneye at a sleepover when you were ten is relevant. What does 'owning noobs on slappers-only' even mean?"
The man expressed surprise that this nugget of personal accomplishment had not immediately made him a shoo-in for the job. "Are you being serious right now?" the man asked, incredulously. "You remember the game, right? Goldeneye? Nintendo 64? Arguably the greatest video game ever made? I used to crush all of my friends every single time, without fail. No matter what level - Statue, Bunker, you name it. I was invincible, man."
At publishing time, the man had reportedly failed to get the job, likely because the interviewer sucked at Goldeneye and was super jealous.
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