WASHINGTON, D.C.—Work on the bipartisan infrastructure bill in Congress has ground to a halt as nobody there is sure what number comes after trillion.
"I'm so glad we have been able to reach across the aisle on this bill," said House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy. "This should give us enough to dig a hole to the center of the earth and throw all the rest of our money in it, and then paint BLM murals on every road, and also fund the construction of 38 billion new Planned Parenthood locations. The most important part of this deal is that Mr. Potato Head will remain a male spud as God intended. Yay!"
"Now let's see. We have 998 trillion, 999 trillion, um... hey guys? What comes next? Sextillion? Googlyoctillion? Novemdecillion? Does anyone know how to look things up on the internet?"
The House floor was plunged into chaos as aides scrambled for calculators but they could find no calculators with big enough screens to hold all the zeros they were trying to put into the spending bill.
Eventually, Congress reached an agreement to just spend infinity money which pretty much covers any number without having to do the math. Republicans then bragged on social media about spending only one infinity instead of two infinity as the Democrats wanted.